Archives de la catégorie English
« Entrées Précédentes
Entrées Plus Récentes »

Blank new

1 janvier 2013 //
12

A New Year’s come,
and all I’m left with
is uncertainty and holes
to fill my days with.

Every hour is
too simple,
every minute is
too deep

I lose myself in time.

The night’s back,
and all I have with me
is blank ink and virgin sheets
to write my fate on.

Every silence is
too slow,
every step is
too resounding

I multiply myself in them.

The same yearly thoughts are
there, though I don’t wear any-
thing but white – snow
white, to be cold in.

Every snowflake is
too unique,
every footprint is
too detailed

so

I melt
my self
in snow

this year
I
vanish anew

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes

Microprepared

24 novembre 2012 //
12

Life is a long preparation for something that never happens.

— William Butler Yeats

 

I am foreseeing things

You are foreseeing things

Who is ahead?

 

My back to the past

My forehead to the future

I am facing my heart

 

My head is full with

Both the best and the worst cases

A new scenario unfolds

 

You are afraid to die

From fear of dying from fear

Alone in your head

 

Meditating, you think

You are getting prepared

To live in the moment

 

I must prepare to write

A poem, I thought

But it was already finished

 

 

* Those are a few notes — micropoetry style — on the idea of preparation, which is dVerse Poets Pub‘s theme for today. I borrowed the quote from them, and it inspired me to write about the — sometimes — foolish nature of preparation.

And for those of you who read French or like beautiful objects, please check out my offer — it lasts until the end of the world, due Dec. 21st. *

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes

Just another purple bunker

3 novembre 2012 //
16

20121103-190820.jpg

Her heart on the brink of
exploding concrete
she wanted to fight through
the woman in her
the bramble on her
but she counted her colours
as blessings instead.

White
her knuckles as she ruffled
depleted bones
and their crushed leaves.

Brown
a lock catching her wild eye
her least favourite colour
her own hues.

Yellow
her envy of bright gold
bullions in her pockets
to ground her in oolong leaves.

Red
the heart of the problem
sowing too many beats
around the saddened bush.

Purple
her head blossoming
in all different directions
violet – was she dancing.

Black
her sleep so tight and dear
a grip of delusions and falls
on top of her world.

And back to white
morning light that saw her temple
shining through her bark
who was she now

who was she not
risen from a day of painful strokes
on her inside skin
and left gazing at another reflection
of her own tortured being
on the sky’s infinite
openness?

*Contribution to dVerse Poets Pub – Artwork by SueAnn*

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes

Late / too

21 octobre 2012 //
11

In the 3 minutes and 14 seconds
that this song lasts
I went back and forth in time
3 and 14 times
respectively.

Safely seated in the bus
I pointed my chin forward,
let past and future unfurl,
let go
back first.

Paris and its wild lights / trajectories I couldn’t grasp / too high on my bike / and his blurry picture / before me

rays of light, laughs / did we roll on the grass / trying to pick up a friend / fallen apple too full of juice? / yes we did

and did I make a wish / meaningful and dear / while everyone was away / except me and / a shooting star?

She says, « but there was not
enough space for you /
I couldn’t find any place
for you / now it’s too late »;
is it ever?

I let go
and forth,
into this life
and the next

This form is already souvenirs,
the rest comes in flashes
on a bumpy ride:

bodies curled in fallen leaves, crying / tears to come

I, chasing a rush of stars / through loud sound

« everything will be alright », your voice / fading soft

your kiss again, and its apple taste / city to go

tea scents

dog spirit

dismembering

snow bed

rose drops;

sugar rush

head massage

bass pumping

seasons’ descent

blood dripping.

Time flies
but I make space for all lives
I could and could not have,
I will and will not have,
all the same

words fly
leave whiter holes
perfect

In 3 minutes and 14 seconds
I have found a place for this
one thing
that’s all

* Here is the song I am talking about : Too Late, by Ariane Moffatt. *
* Oh, and I missed dVerse Poets yesterday, but I used their prompt anyway. *

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes

Chest nut

6 octobre 2012 //
14

All these times I haven’t fed myself
when I needed to,
all this food denied
like there were no loads of bread
running from truck to gutter
in Austria or anywhere else
I haven’t been
’cause I was a ghost in those places
blown by wind and filled
with hunger.

Had you cracked me open like a hot chestnut
– with your gloves taken out and
the tip of your fingers reddened –
you’d have found a sweet,
sweet void,
repeating softly – or would it be the wind?
-, « She is empty.
She needs to be filled. »

You didn’t get that
but I did.

All these times I have fed more than myself
when anything else was needed,
all this space denied
like there were no loaves of flesh
running from bones to mouth
– or was it the other way around
too? –
in France and everywhere else
I have been
with the same body, unaware of the place
it had blown itself to
filled with
fleeting pastries.

Even you couldn’t open me up like a jar
of chestnut cream
with your slow hands all over and
your jaw all tense –
otherwise you’d have found a half-empty
paste,
with trails left by a knife on the sides.

« She’s emptying it out.
The sweetness of life. »

Yes, I once used a knife
but I got it anyway.

I once reached rock bottom
in a jar of spread
labeled with my fake room number
locked in a pantry high
in the basement low
in the city among all cities,
I once reached a hint of myself
down there
but it took time.

After all this time I got fed up with
needing not to need,
denying denying.
Like pouring sugar in a gutter
would make its contents edible,
like coating my life with cream
would make things possible.

I have been
to many places but now I want to go
for real, blown by my hunger,
with stomach open wide.

*Written for dVerse Poets Pub.*

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes

Full (again)

30 septembre 2012 //
2

I am on a bus under a full moon.

Is this a dream? As in, « life is a recurring dream »?
Clouds don’t want me to watch but my heart knows. My heart is drawn up while my body passes on a bridge too high. A bit too high. A roller coaster squeezes my spine.

Wait. My heart knows.

My heart knows we’ll be fully together soon. Soon after I have passed these rushing hours, in which the round softness of ease remains nowhere to be found.

My body is nowhere.
My body is to be found.

I am on a bus and the bright horizon stretches itself wide under sagging clouds. Arms wide open, wide crushed.

My heart is wide bruised. I’ve bruised it myself. Since I was born.
But there’s the full moon. There’s tea that makes me cry. There’s you and own imminent reunion and our sobbing and our blessings. There’s a dream that my body can find its center again.

My body is round.
My body knows how to be.

I am up in the air again, launched as a book with no cover. I’m flying like a stack of papers defiantly thrown (up) by a student. And while I’m up in the air I think the moon is not far therefore I can reach her. I can reach myself.

My heart is round.
My heart is a fist under a veil.

The veil is the same colour as my lips, which are the same colour as my gums. She made me laugh so hard today while we were walking along a brick wall, and because she burst out laughing at the exact same time my gums actually vibrated. It hurt. Slightly. I was shocked. And laughed once more.

My heart can be moved up, so can my body. I’m on a bus and I’m everywhere to be found. As long as there are bright colours I can picture myself easily. I can picture myself easily in your autumnal leaves. « Of Autumn », it read.

My body is red.
The moon is red.

Red as passion and emotions that flow back in. Red as the sheets we used to lie on before they got furry with cat hair. Red as cat fury, red as our laughing at him.

My heart knows where the moon is. It knows the road to you, too.

Our hearts know how fully human each of us is.
But they also know how fully we’ll be together.

I am on a bus under a full moon.
And my dream is everywhere to be found.

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Sur prose / Breaking Prose

Here comes the fall (and rise)

10 septembre 2012 //
2

There’s something on the ground like fallen heartflakes that strangers trip upon. So many tears shed in the last two years, two whole cycles of slowly getting up and avoiding to crush her own body parts. Now she was almost able to say, « Here is my chin. See? »

With her chin down there were advantages: She could probe sidewalk cracks for darkness to compare hers with, she could see more shit than most people do on a normal day, … and she could notice how nature’s fall had laid a carpet to make her life a little softer.

Yes, that’s what life would do, always. No matter how red or grey or black or rocky her bed, there was hope. No matter if she had to lay down on cement to soothe her vertigo, there was a rise to come. No matter how shot through with rain and pain she was, there was beauty and pleasure to come, too. To come through.

Why was she crying again? Why was she laughing? The wind blew rotten memories along with lively ones, all before her feet so that she could imagine her future steps. Every leaf she walked on let out a sound, a light, a song for her to remember.

Re-member: Put back together limbs. To do so make sure they touch the ground, the walls, the sky first, then re-assemble with the help of some sort of joint.

All of a sudden she knew what she had to do. She bent down so swiftly her palm had to press itself against the ground, and then, despite the spin in and around her head, she carelessly picked up a handful of fallen leaves and twigs and rocks. Standing back up in a jump, she said,

« There comes my heart. Good to feel you back, heart. »

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Sur prose / Breaking Prose

The Best Bottles

25 août 2012 //
23

Bottles by Borg de Nobel / http://borgeous.wordpress.com / used with permission /

The best bottles remain hidden deep down in history
of the self-
contained people and words, self-
contempted.
Sometimes they do come back floating
(because they’re obviously empty
of liquor and passion)
and when they cross the line
between white lies, dregs, and what-
ever lies beneath
your breath charges itself
with flavors you thought you had already let go of.
Red is the background to your battle
and is the path to reclaiming your head.
Red is the look you give whenever you focus
on the box of your life that you opened,
screwed,
and puked on your own shoe-
shore.
There are bottles we might as well
keep locked under the sea
with their words and labels in and on
and run away from the beach
as there were better tomorrows
stored in glass somewhere
for us to take home.

* Thank you to dVerse Poets Pub and their prompt for today, Borg de Nobel‘s work. Please have a look at their websites. *

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes

Per se

11 août 2012 //
32

This has been a mascara-thick day
I covered my face with a domino
only half fulfilled
yet my lips in bloom

All day long I have been trying
to protect myself from your echo
eardrums half pierced
by midnight sounds high

Waiting in a wagon as sweet
as a ride in the dark with neon
stars plastered around
and lips singing tight

I have to conceal everything
but I do burst sometimes, and I did
leave murmurs, heart
broken laughters in air

Had I a cigarette I would gaze
at its lit butt till my holes for eyes
are damaged again
yet there’s the moon

And now she’s making up for lightness
with a shower of Perseid lights
perfidious heartstabbers
rotten leftovers

With my acid smile and moon-drenched
blackholes I look at changing cities
and the midnight rain
fades both our colours.

*** This poem has been written with M83’s Midnight City in my earplugs – memories of rain and light – full moon still impeding my… normality? – full moon still working shifts on me. I hope you see a star fall. If not, at least you have many beautifully sad poems to read, here at dVerse Poets Pub. Oh, and by the way, the pic was modified with Instagram, again. ***

Étiquettes , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes

A Poem Where We All Come to Sing at the End

4 août 2012 //
22

She had a purported sense of loneliness back then
back there,
a purposely avoidant stare
of the clearly ambiguous type.
As words were raging and raving
around her like unleashed katanas
or revolving doors,
she raced to hide into tapioca pearls
– the one time she had found some, debutante’s luck –
or apples as big as her face,
hesitant.

Buying food out of a 500 yen coin
biking it off,
soon biking from one konbini to another
without buying anything
’cause nothing was worth more than emptiness,
the sword-carved and stud-crafted sort.

She only had words and shame coming out,
an acid string she would fill her room with
in small bundles of well-known acrimony

Of the rigid type, she was
most unlike me this poem this story
telling with many directions and blunders
how she came to be me.

Okāsan had a pure sense of connection – she still has
even though she’s not okāsan anymore –
with her purple art stare-making
up the clearly extrovert type.
(I bet she, the one that’s I, became a little like her, the one that’s she
over time spent
and money in konbinis
over food that we did eat.
But I am skipping steps now,
avoiding the core
that’s essential
as usual.)

CORE (to be sung over and over, as there is no other verse to come):

As she made me list all the times in my life
I had been saved by luck or whatever
I wanted (it) to be,
she set a dim fire in my heart,
the one that tastes like matcha
gently rocking.
Then as if not enough she put out
my burning hand with hers,
and I can still feel raging and raving katanas,
a hurl of untouched coins,
my metallic bubble of fear shaken up
for not having been touched in eight months
(inside or outside).

*This poem, her/my story in Ōsaka, was written for dVerse Poets Pub, and will most probably be published in my upcoming ebook, Borders.

Étiquettes , , , , , , , ,
Catégories English, Pouèmes
« Entrées Précédentes
Entrées Plus Récentes »